1-Star Reviews, Emergency Help for Authors

Just got burned with a 1-star review? Here's what to do.

Vengeance WILL be mine!

I will post mean reviews on the books this reviewer loves!

No, you won’t. You don’t need the bad karma.

I will google this person’s identity and mail dog poo to their house!

Sounds like a waste of money. Why not send yourself some chocolates or a strip-o-gram? Clearly this reviewer schmo has terrible taste in literature. Isn’t that punishment enough?

I will stalk this person for years, storing my vengeance in a chilly, chilly refrigerator, for revenge is a dish best served with freezer burn.

You may need psychological help. Seriously, if you are considering violence in a non-cartoon way, please take a deep breath and talk to someone. Humans do not deal well with rejection or disappointment. It is perfectly natural for you to have some negative feelings, but if you are not able to put setbacks like this in perspective, you should seek someone who can help you. If you in recovery from an addiction, or feel like harming yourself, immediately contact someone you trust.

I’ll have this person gruesomely dismembered … in my next book.

Yes. Put that energy into something useful! Now we’re getting somewhere!


Please note this site is for entertainment purposes only and does not warrant to provide psychological or legal advice.


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This entry was posted on March 10, 2012 by in authorproblems.

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This site is for entertainment purposes only and the author assumes no liability for the content. This site does not provide psychological or legal advice.
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