Just got burned with a 1-star review? Here's what to do.
Someone has ruined your morning’s libido-dampening cornflakes. Once you’ve wiped the spit off yourself and changed your diaper, you may choose to create a rainbow out of today’s rainstorm.
Go forth, ye, and place ye mighty star of five upon ye greatest page-having beloveds.
We recommend finding someone else’s book (not your own, dummy!) and bestowing upon it a sappy, slobbery, 5-star review. You might feel better. You might not. But it’ll give you something to chew on for a few minutes besides your own bile, contempt for humanity, and inner cheek flesh.
Never written a review before? Try making it a mini-story with an attractive, witty, intelligent protagonist.
I was drawn to this particular book because (pick one)
– the cover matches my eyes
– it looks sorta like another book I liked
– it’s on sale
– Katherine Heigl is not in it
From the very first chapter, I was
– laughing through my tears
– wondering where this book has been all my life
– pleased by the appropriate level of swearing, which I felt was appropriate, when one considers the appropriateness of appropriate swearing in books appropriate for people reading this genre
– already wishing I could wipe my memory so I would have the pleasure of reading it again
One part in particular I enjoyed was
– the surprising mid-book reveal of the secret of life
– the color of the paper
– the author’s use of the phrase “bohemian manscaping”
– how it all flowed!
I would recommend this book for
– people who, like me, are witty and fun
– credit-card holders with an extra $.99 to spend to reach a points threshold
– tall gentlemen between the ages of 46 and 47
– people who like to feel bad, then good, then bad, then scared, then angry, then excited, then eager, then terrified, then relieved, and finally, satisfied
Share the love! Share the joy! Perhaps one day someone will do the same for you.